You Spent HOW MUCH to Be a Cat?
Ears. Whiskers. A tail with its own shipping notification. Let's total the feline economy, one purchase at a time.
The $9 Personalized Report — Feline Investment Statement (preview)
Your official Feline Investment Statement: all four purchases itemized, your cost per compliment audited to the cent, and a formal valuation of one night as a cat — signed by Calc, who has reviewed the whiskers and approved the expenditure retroactively.
Preview only — the shop opens soon. The calculator above stays free forever.
How the cat math works
The actual math
Total = costume + makeup + accessories + emergency delivery. Cost per compliment = total ÷ compliments received (if the compliments were zero, each one retroactively costs the entire total — the math is cruel but fair). Four purchases, one animal, one night.
Was it worth it?
You received compliments, one group photo, and a story. The certificate says the rest.