DUMMY MATH
Finally, a calculator brave enough to answer the questions that actually keep you up at night. Real formulas. Dumb questions. Zero dignity.
Paid Poop at Work
Your salary, divided by your bathroom breaks. Your boss is funding this. Let's find out how much.
Run the audit → #2Pet Poop Fraud
Years of unpaid cleanup labor, itemized. The Court of Poop Fraud is now in session.
Take your dog to court → #3Who Ate My Food?!
A full forensic investigation. Suspects, evidence, denial levels. Somebody is going down.
Open the case → #4Adulthood Is a Trap
Every dollar you've paid just to exist since you turned 18. Warning: the number is rude.
See the damage → #5Mom Food Tax
Every fry. Every nugget. Every "I'm not hungry" lie, audited and invoiced.
Audit the tiny criminals → ?More Dumb Math Is Coming
Calc is in the lab cooking up new investigations: group-trip debt, ex math, and the true cost of "free" trials.
How Dummy Math works →🎃 Halloween Collection
The first three of the Halloween collection — built for this Halloween week. The rest of the collection stays in Calc's lab for next season.
Parent Candy Tax
Your child did the walking. You became the government. File the household's official candy tax return.
Assess the tax → H2Financially Haunted
Candy, decorations, costumes, party — versus the budget you swore you'd keep. Summon the total.
Summon the total → H3You Spent HOW MUCH to Be a Cat?
Costume, makeup, accessories, panic shipping. One night as a cat, itemized per compliment.
Total the damage →How Dummy Math works
Three steps between you and a number you'll immediately want to send to the group chat.
Pick a stupid question. There are no wrong answers, only embarrassing ones.
Answer honestly. Calc runs the real formula — salary math, damages, forensic suspicion scores, all of it.
Get your verdict, share the damage, and download your official certificate. Frame it. Or use it as evidence.
Dumb questions, honest answers
Is the math actually real?
Yes. The questions are ridiculous; the arithmetic is not. Every calculator uses a real formula — your actual hourly rate, actual cleanup hours, actual lifetime bills — shown in the results so you can argue with it.
Do I need an account or payment?
No. No login, no card, no email. Your numbers never leave your browser — the calculators run entirely on your device.
Who is Calc?
Calc the Dummy is our Chief Numbers Officer: a calculator in a purple-and-yellow hat who believes bad decisions deserve data. He has never once been wrong, because math.